A Head Case (ME)

8-26-2009
I've been having headaches, lose of sleep, and confused thinking . I think my cellphone is starting to fry my brain. I need to buy another blue-tooth, and keep that phone from my head. I didn't work today, only because the co. did not call me. I'm still waiting for things to pick up in September.

Are you listening? Are you listening? Are you listening? Always do the right thing. (spike Lee)

I forgot my computer pass word yesterday. I changed one feature on my computer and it locked up on me. I panicked. I tried every password that I've ever made a note of and it just would not work.
I called my big brother Clarence, and went to his house, to let him take a look at it. He want through the process of rebooting my computer so I could re-enter my pass word, and I did re-entered a new pass word ; turned the computer off and restarted it. Then I remembered. I felt so small. I just could not believe that I forgot it. The pass word I all ways use to start my computer. Something is very wrong with me.

I fixed and just got trough eating diner. I feel better; that is my head feels better.
We all are born to die. How do you like that one? It's what you do in between that time that makes it meaningful. What is our purpose here on this planet? To love, to hate, to build, to destroy! I'm 59 yrs. old and wanting so much to do it all over again. To get it right. I was so afraid of life. Afraid of girls, afraid of women, afraid of love. When I was about five years of age, I used too dream at night of these two little girls. One had light skin and the other was dark, and I loved them with a passion. Not one more than the other, but the same. I don't think I've changed. I'm at the age when women look so good to me. I think that's what happens when their not around. Its been about 15 years now sense I've been with a women, lived with a women, kissed a women. I've turned into a Monk. My lady passed away, suddenly, and I was devastated. She was high spirited; very jealous, I mean ridiculously jealous for know reason. I could not have other female friend. Leave out of the house and came back in without answering 20 questions. It was madding. I all most lost it, ( my mind ) . We lasted about two or three years, before it happened. (the passing) but I loved her. She was a little older than me, but when we met for the first time and looked into each others eyes we knew their was something there. And she was pregnant at that time, so nothing happened at that time. It took at lest 17 yrs. before we got together. And it took a break up, of a ten year relationship for it to happen. The ten year relationship started ugly and ended ugly. She gave up the flesh to someone else. That I could not tolerate that. So I broke it off. She wanted to say together. My problem with living with her is that I was not creative enough to keep her happy, to keep her from straying. If your other half wants to go out and party; you better go and party with them. Even if you can't dance. Miss ten yrs. was about five years younger then myself. A great lover was she. The Cancers of life took her away. Physical and spiritual cancers took her. The wages of sin: is